The Samurai Guy

• Lviv, Ukraine, Airport
• Lviv, Ukraine, Downtown

Strange monster on high
Mouth open like hungry beast.
I am not your feast!

Barcelona. Beautiful city of music, food, drink, and life. Where the Netherlands was about bicycles, surely, Barcelona must be about walking. I am told every hour of every day, more than three thousand people walk through the Fontanella-Portal del Àngel. This city has been blessed with great architecture and works of art by the likes of Picasso and Gaudi. Obviously, these were artists after my time…my first time…after…you know what I mean. These artisans would have found places of honor at the Imperial Court. I look at these fantastical buildings by Gaudi and while many might dismiss them as strange fantasies of an unhinged mind, there is an otherworldly beauty about them that can only have come from the Gods.

Barcelona has these vibrant markets, busy and full of common people shopping for the best produce, meat, and other foodstuffs. And the seafood! Oh, I shall have my fill here. The care and attention they take in preparing these wonderful tapas, clearly marks them as masterful chefs like the ones in Japan. I must also take back with me some of this chocolate, brought to Spain from some far off land in the West. We have nothing like this at home, and I’m sure the Imperial household will enjoy its rich flavor. Once again, I am introduced to new libations, cava and these rich, full-bodied Spanish wines. I learned this wonderful philosophy in Barcelona: “If you drink, you eat.” These Spanish must be an advanced civilization indeed to have such an enlightened perspective on the pleasures of life.

Strolling along the beach I see many young people out enjoying themselves into the early morning hours. Their energy and lust for life lifts my spirits and I venture into one of their “night clubs.” The music is quite foreign to me. It seems chaotic at first, many instruments and beats all vying to be heard. But as I listen more I sense a rhythm and begin to follow the melody. It is difficult not to resist moving to this music. Sadly, all of the dancing arts I had learned seem out of place in this time. I will have to observe and practice more of these modern dances.

This has been a quite lively visit to Barcelona. I am told greater adventures await me in the Spanish islands to the south, but I must save those for another time. I am already preparing for my next journey. An intriguing land called, the Ukraine.

My journey begins in the Netherlands, country of tulips, windmills, and canals. It has a proud history of mastering the seas and grew wealthy from that trade. This land shares many similarities with my own small nation of Japan. Though small and with limited natural resources, we too found a way to become world powers in our time. My studies of the centuries through which I traveled, revealed a history of Dutch and Japanese cooperation. So it bears good omen that my first trip outside of my homeland should begin there.

I must admit, even all the videos I saw on this “YouTube” did not prepare me for this monstrosity you call an airplane. How could anything so massive ever soar like the proud birds of prey? With a great roar and mighty rumbling this metal beast lifted into the air and before I knew it, I found myself amongst the clouds. Truly, your modern marvels are a sight to behold. No one at the Imperial Court will believe me when I return; they will surely think me mad.

These Dutch people are tall! I am told they are on average the tallest people in the world and having seen them I must believe this to be true. I am also quite shocked about this open display of these women in “red lights” and these “coffee shops.” Men urinating in public?! Never would such a thing be permitted by the Emperor. Sometimes I feel the whole world has turned on its head and I will never understand this new way. Once I got over my initial shock and as I wandered these beautiful canals and bridges, my mind and spirit started to relax back into peaceful tranquility. Clearly, the years of comfort and peace have been kind to the Dutch. The warming sun has brought them out on their bicycles and the terraces are filled with friends and loved ones sharing food and drink. The air fills with music and laughter, and it is during these times that I long for home.

While here I have tried to learn as much as I could about the Dutch engineering skill and their technology which holds back the sea. Imagine! Nearly a third of this country is beneath sea level! Amazing! I have also studied the International Court of Justice in Den Haag (the Hague). I could not imagine a pact amongst these United Nations in my time. It seemed we were constantly at war with our neighbors. Of course, I fought for my daimyo with absolute loyalty, but the horrors of war seemed so senseless at times. Maa, that is for another time.

Even though nothing beats a beautifully prepared nigiri and warm sake, I must admit these Dutch know their beer. And this bitterballen is a flavorful and hearty snack. It would go well to warm a soldier during our long cold campaigns.

Whirlwind of fury
Scatters helpless leaf through time.
My forest is gone

• Amsterdam, Netherlands, City of Canals
• Amsterdam, Netherlands, Land of Bicycles
• Barcelona, Spain, La Sagrada Familia
• Barcelona, Spain, Casa Batllo

The last thing I remember before waking in this strange and wondrous land was walking through the sacred grove of Seifa Utaki, on the island of Okinawa. My mind had been troubled by what Sensei had told me about his vision of my destiny. Sensei said that a great journey was ahead of me and that I must travel a long road if I was to attain enlightenment and become tatsujin, mastering excellence in all aspects of my life. If I denied this destiny, if I failed to complete the journey, I would die in shame and dishonor. I was a simple warrior, what did I know of journeys and enlightenment? But Sensei’s visions had never failed before and the honor of my house was at stake.

So I found myself at Seifa Utaki, where Sensei said my journey would begin, I felt the power of that ancient place, where the eldest gods had lived. I sat for a moment, next to a sakaki tree to rest my weary legs. No sooner had I sat down than the ground began to shake. I clung to the tree to try to steady myself but bumped my head against the trunk, the Earth was shaking so violently. When I awoke, I wandered into the nearby town, dazed. But where had been a village that morning was now an impossibly large city called Nanjo. Everything I saw was strange to my eyes. Large metallic beasts sped along carrying people faster than the Emperor’s fastest horses. Light and music seem to come out of thin air. Everyone was wearing strange clothes and looked at me as if I was the madman.

I wandered, confused, until I found myself at an old bookstore. The owner was a blind elderly man, and unbelievably, he seemed to be expecting me. He told me that his family had kept a duty, entrusted to them over centuries and generations. They would one day find an ancient samurai in their midst and they were to help me along my journey. I didn’t believe him and was about to leave him to his crazy rantings when he pulled out an old book. In it were scrolls and on two of the scrolls were pictures of Sensei and myself! There was no doubting the likeness as it even showed a scar I had over my left brow that I had sustained in battle. And there was no mistaking the face of my Sensei. Along with the scrolls was a letter addressed to me by Sensei. It read:

“My favorite Student. You were my greatest pupil and showed the greatest potential amongst all the students who came to study with me. I loved you as a son and taught you all the skills that were in my power to give. There is more to the vision I had of you which I have not yet told you. You were chosen to carry the ancient tradition of samurai. You would travel across the river of time, when all the glory and power of the samurai had faded. You were sent to carry our traditions and to safeguard our ways until they would be needed again. There is more but I cannot risk telling you more until you are ready. To do so would endanger your journey, for some lessons must be learned on your own. Take heart, for the bonds between us even time cannot split asunder. The man you have just met will teach you one final skill. It is called astral projection. With this power, you will be able to communicate with me across time and space. Be strong, sempai, and remember bushido, the way of the warrior. You will do well.”

And so it was, that I learned to speak with Sensei across time and space, though doing so takes great effort and is extremely taxing. Sensei says this will get easier with practice. I also spent many months in Nanjo learniing from the kindly bookkeeper about the history across the centuries I had missed and speaking foreign tongues. I learned about TV, radio, and the Internet. Truly, these things still amaze me and I find it hard to believe that these things are possible with science and not magic. I had seen many wondrous things at the Imperial Court with the wizards and alchemists. But this “digital age,” it is beyond my current comprehension. I stayed in Nanjo for almost two years when I met the bookkeeper’s great-grandniece. She always calls me “The Samurai Guy” and often teases me about my strange ways. I told her I was her elder and so it was her ways that were strange. She said I was kind, for indulging her great-granduncle his silly fantasy and keeping him company. She suggested I setup a website to meet other people as a young, handsome warrior as myself should have more company than some old blind bookkeeper and his strange great-grandniece. She said there were plenty of people out there who would be interested in my “shtick,” whatever that is. I wasn’t sure what a modern day person would need a samurai for, but I decided my journey had to begin somewhere. It’s strange, I know I am technically ronin, but Sensei says oibara and seppuku do not apply in my case. It seems wrong according to everything in the code of bushido, but somehow I know Sensei is right and I will follow his guidance.

Now I find myself traveling to far distant lands, meeting people we had never seen before in Japan. Truly, this is an amazing time in human history and for some reason I was meant to experience it for some higher purpose. I have so many unanswered questions but all I can do is walk the path in front of me and see where my journey takes me. Sensei says my heart will lead my feet, and so I walk. I welcome you to share in my story and to follow the epic journey of The Samurai Guy.